From TC to TC
I have basically started my journey home, from the Twin Cities of Hyderabad/ Secunderabad to the Twin Cities of Minneapolis/St. Paul. What a mixture of emotions (and strange dreams) that brings for me. How can I even begin to sum up or bring closure to such a varied and valuable experience?! I dreamed of this for a long time, prepared to always expect the unexpected, and now must try to pull it all together and process it. It’s gonna take awhile… I already know that. Then, I also struggle to determine what parts of it are really over and which parts will I take with me everywhere, and what about the possibility of returning to India in the future? How exactly do I say ‘goodbye’ when I feel somehow that I will be back? I have come to a place where I simply am closing a chapter in a book with an unknown ending. I can accept and grasp that much.
My experience of India has been much more realistic than my time in other places. What I mean is that I have actually had time and exposure to the realities of life in a way that has not been true in other places. Not only am I learning about culture by watching as an outsider, but I have even been brought to the center of some of the issues in some cases. I miss my culture – the comfortablity, freedom, and independence of it. I definitely long to see my friends and family in the States. At the same time, I can hardly believe my year of discovery is over. I have noticed in the last few weeks that I have become very used to everyday things that seemed to take a lot of attention at first, like crossing the street, traveling by train or ordering food. I think because I have been spending time with some newly arrived Westerners, I somehow discovered that I was giving all sorts of advice and leading them through activities as though I was some kind of guide! At the same time, I also realized that I have formed some opinions and probably even some stereotypes of India and its culture that I need to keep in check. I guess as I try to pull things together and imagine describing this experience to others, I run the risk of generalizing or lumping it all together when it just can’t be described like that. The word that continually comes to mind when I think of this place is… COMPLICATED! I mean that both in an exciting way as well as a confusing way, so I guess even my one word description is itself complicated!
I started the week very restless, tired, and feeling heavy. After the two week course ended, I was looking forward to relief, but it didn’t come so easy. Although I did get an amazingly timely massage (much better than the last one I received here), the heat and my thoughts disturbed my rest. I was supposed to go visit my friend, Basy and his mom a few hours outside the city on Monday and Tuesday, but just as I was about to buy my ticket and board the train, he called and told me that because of a death in the family we would have to cancel. While it was a disappointing thing, I think I actually benefited from the additional rest I was granted because of it, and Basy was able to come and spend several hours with me at HMI the following day, so I at least got to see him before my departure. I tried to get personal time as well as enjoy parts of HMI and Hyderabad that I know I’ll miss. I did yoga every morning (too hot for jogging, even at 6:00 am), and my activities cause me to miss the afternoon Volleyball games, but completed most of my shopping, which ended up being more pleasurable than I thought possible!
Thursday, however, was a turn around day for me. The heaviness left me as I did three important tasks. First, I successfully made my way by myself to my former host family’s home in order to say a proper goodbye, then I returned to HMI to defend my MA thesis over the phone with two faculty from Luther Seminary, and finally I had a nice conversation to clarify some unclear matters with the director of HMI. Somehow, these three things helped me to make that shift to a place where I could start to prepare myself for the transition ahead.
The next day, I finished my packing, said the goodbyes I needed to at HMI, and boarded the train for Bangalore. Now, he
re I sit at UTC, coming full circle. Just as when I arrived, the students are not here. This time, however, it feels quiet and lonely rather than peaceful and invoking of my curiosity. Luckily, Asongla is the one person who is still here, and she has provided a warm welcome for me. I have taken care of much of the business that needed to be handled already, and now I sit in this room surrounded by papers I am discarding covering the floor, gifts to bring home scattered here and there, half packed and half still to be sorted. It’s really happening – ready or not, here I come!
I did my morning jog here (where it is cooler) and went to church at St. John’s this morning. Monday will be saved for all the last minute tasks I might have forgotten, but otherwise, I’ll be continuing to sort, pack, and process. My flight leaves early on Tuesday morning. I go to London, have a few hour layover, go to Chicago, stay overnight with my friend, Sunitha, and then arrive on Wednesday morning in Minneapolis, where my parents will pick me up and hopefully bombard me with hugs!
Still unsure what to feel… but taking it as it comes…
Sara
My experience of India has been much more realistic than my time in other places. What I mean is that I have actually had time and exposure to the realities of life in a way that has not been true in other places. Not only am I learning about culture by watching as an outsider, but I have even been brought to the center of some of the issues in some cases. I miss my culture – the comfortablity, freedom, and independence of it. I definitely long to see my friends and family in the States. At the same time, I can hardly believe my year of discovery is over. I have noticed in the last few weeks that I have become very used to everyday things that seemed to take a lot of attention at first, like crossing the street, traveling by train or ordering food. I think because I have been spending time with some newly arrived Westerners, I somehow discovered that I was giving all sorts of advice and leading them through activities as though I was some kind of guide! At the same time, I also realized that I have formed some opinions and probably even some stereotypes of India and its culture that I need to keep in check. I guess as I try to pull things together and imagine describing this experience to others, I run the risk of generalizing or lumping it all together when it just can’t be described like that. The word that continually comes to mind when I think of this place is… COMPLICATED! I mean that both in an exciting way as well as a confusing way, so I guess even my one word description is itself complicated!
I started the week very restless, tired, and feeling heavy. After the two week course ended, I was looking forward to relief, but it didn’t come so easy. Although I did get an amazingly timely massage (much better than the last one I received here), the heat and my thoughts disturbed my rest. I was supposed to go visit my friend, Basy and his mom a few hours outside the city on Monday and Tuesday, but just as I was about to buy my ticket and board the train, he called and told me that because of a death in the family we would have to cancel. While it was a disappointing thing, I think I actually benefited from the additional rest I was granted because of it, and Basy was able to come and spend several hours with me at HMI the following day, so I at least got to see him before my departure. I tried to get personal time as well as enjoy parts of HMI and Hyderabad that I know I’ll miss. I did yoga every morning (too hot for jogging, even at 6:00 am), and my activities cause me to miss the afternoon Volleyball games, but completed most of my shopping, which ended up being more pleasurable than I thought possible!
Thursday, however, was a turn around day for me. The heaviness left me as I did three important tasks. First, I successfully made my way by myself to my former host family’s home in order to say a proper goodbye, then I returned to HMI to defend my MA thesis over the phone with two faculty from Luther Seminary, and finally I had a nice conversation to clarify some unclear matters with the director of HMI. Somehow, these three things helped me to make that shift to a place where I could start to prepare myself for the transition ahead.
The next day, I finished my packing, said the goodbyes I needed to at HMI, and boarded the train for Bangalore. Now, he
re I sit at UTC, coming full circle. Just as when I arrived, the students are not here. This time, however, it feels quiet and lonely rather than peaceful and invoking of my curiosity. Luckily, Asongla is the one person who is still here, and she has provided a warm welcome for me. I have taken care of much of the business that needed to be handled already, and now I sit in this room surrounded by papers I am discarding covering the floor, gifts to bring home scattered here and there, half packed and half still to be sorted. It’s really happening – ready or not, here I come!I did my morning jog here (where it is cooler) and went to church at St. John’s this morning. Monday will be saved for all the last minute tasks I might have forgotten, but otherwise, I’ll be continuing to sort, pack, and process. My flight leaves early on Tuesday morning. I go to London, have a few hour layover, go to Chicago, stay overnight with my friend, Sunitha, and then arrive on Wednesday morning in Minneapolis, where my parents will pick me up and hopefully bombard me with hugs!
Still unsure what to feel… but taking it as it comes…
Sara
posted by Namasday | 1:54 AM
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